It’s hard to know where to start with the Alvin Brass Bullet, but I’ll go with the design. This is a gorgeous pencil sharpener in its simplicity and elegance. Its blade is as sharp as a blade can be, but it’s nearly impossible to hurt yourself with it. It’s easy and intuitive to change the blade, too, using the little screws on the side.
It’s sturdy. This pencil sharpener will never break, not ever, no matter what you do to it. It’s small. You can put the Brass Bullet in your front pocket and no one will know you’ve got anything in there. And at just over $5, it’s cheap.
But perhaps my favorite thing about the Brass Bullet is how it behaves as an Object of the world. I have used a capital letter to indicate that I mean “Object” in a way that transcends the object’s function or use. There are certain Objects — wooden stamps, excellent marbles, durable thimbles — that are joyful to touch or hold or gaze upon. The Brass Bullet has a surprising heft. You hold it in your hand and you feel like it is rooting you to the earth, in a way. It is like a little weight that you can carry around, just to remind you what something feels like when it is really solid.
This is the rare object that could not be improved upon. There is nothing you could do to make this pencil sharpener better. It has reached its apex. It’s transcended.
And you can have one in your pocket for less than it costs to get a large cup of coffee.
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